Cut the celery, pepper, and cucumber into bite sized pieces. Thinly slice the onion. You should end up with about 1 cup celery, 1 cup cucumber, and 1/4 cup onion.
Discard the tough kale stems. Slice the kale into shreds, then roughly chop.
Add the kale to a large bowl and sprinkle with the salt. Using clean hands, massage the kale until it begins to soften and releases some butter green liquid. Pour off the liquid, then add the chopped vegetables, artichoke hearts, chickpeas, and herbs to the salad.
In a small bowl, whisk together the olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, Dijon mustard, and Parmesan cheese. Season the dressing to taste with salt and pepper.
Pour the dressing over the salad and mix well. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour before serving to allow the flavors to meld.